Holly Madison, one of the most famous Playboy Bunnies of all time, is opening up about her time in the Playboy Mansion. It turns out her body was a constant source of stress for the beautiful blonde. During an emotional TikTok, Holly, 41, talked about how unrealistic body standards influenced how she saw herself.

The model was a fixture of the Playboy Mansion from 2001 to 2008 when she dated Hugh Hefner. She has written about her unique and sometimes horrific experiences in her book Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny.

She also starred in the TV show The Girls Next Door, which followed her entrance into the Playboy Mansion. Recently, on a podcast episode of “Call Her Daddy“, Holly talked about her relationship with Hugh and how unhappy she was. She says she was glad that Hugh never got her pregnant during their time together.

Photo Credit: Holly Madison / TikTok

In her recent TikTok, Holly talks about how when she was a Playboy Bunny she was watching herself in a former runway video and thought she looked fat and needed to lose five pounds. Now, looking back at the photo and the experience, Holly admits that those thoughts were wrong. “[I] thought I had gained weight, and thought I hadn’t stuck to my diet, and I thought my thighs were huge and I thought, ‘I need to lose five pounds at least,’” the model told Tiktok. “And that’s ridiculous. I look like a stick.”

In the TikTok, she says she had body dysmorphia, a disorder that makes you obsessed with perceived flaws in your appearance. She told her 1 million followers that the constant insecurity and negativity robbed her of happiness during that time. She hopes that her message will encourage people everywhere to reevaluate how they see and speak to their bodies. She wants people to focus on their happiness.

Holly Madison revealed her intense mental battle while working as a Playboy Bunny. The model said in a TikTok that she suffered from immense body dysmorphia while wearing the bunny suit. Holly said that focusing on her weight stopped her from living her best life.
Holly Madison revealed her intense mental battle while working as a Playboy Bunny. The model said in a TikTok that she suffered from immense body dysmorphia while wearing the bunny suit. Holly said that focusing on her weight stopped her from living her best life. Photo Credit: Instagram

The photo in question shows the model in a black bunny suit and ears. Holly admitted that the first time she saw the photo – which was featured in the TikTok – it made her feel terrified and panicky. She felt like she needed to lose weight. She told viewers that there is nothing wrong with self-improvement and wanting to change parts of yourself, but not when it gets in the way of living your best life.

Since posting the TikTok, fans of the model have been flooding her feed with their support. They’ve praised the former Playmate for her honesty about her body image issues. One fan commented, “I love you, Holly! Thank you for being so honest and open.”

Holly ended her relationship with Hugh in February 2008. The founder of Playboy magazine died in September 2017 from cardiac arrest. After her relationship with Hugh, Holly went on to marry Pasquale Rotella. They were together for five years before their divorce. The couple shares two children together, 8-year-old Rainbow Aurora and a son named Forest Leonardo who is 4.